This is something that actually happened.  Bo and I were packing to visit Margot in Turks and Caicos, when I reached into one of our suitcases and pulled out a something that was hard, brown, oval-shaped and definitely a result of natural processes.  

I was nervous because it looked like some kind of a pod and I'm afraid of pods because they often encase unpleasantness like spider or praying mantis or even cockroach eggs. To ensure delivery of their contents, pods are built to last and hard to look at. I'm thinking my brother Dave probably chased me around with a pod or two when I was little.

Anyway, back to the pod-like formation* that I was now touching with my actual hand. I asked Bo if he knew what it was. He said, "Yes I do. That's a moose turd that I brought home from Montana. When you light it on fire, it smells like incense."

"Well it's a good thing our suitcases are out," I said, "on account of I'm leaving you for someone whose name is the Orkin Man. Because unlike you, he's against bugging people and he certainly won't give me any crap." 

This man really gets me.

*Something called a formation also has a high chance of turning out to be pretty disgusting, because no one can control its aesthetic -- it just keeps forming on its own.