Memo

To:     Connie

From:   House Speaker John Boehner

Re:     Today's Hext

Date:   October 10, 2013

I am speaking for all my conthervative colleagth in the Houth of Reprethentatifth when I say that you are a nasty lady and that today's curse on us is ludicrous and cruel. That said, I'm kind of a dick.  We will not bend to your demand that we reopen the U ETH Government -- in fact your daily hext messages are increasing our resolve to keep it shut down until we can hold open negotheeatheeinth with "Prethident" Obama. That said, I'm kind of a dick. And while we celebrate your right to bear armtth, which is granted to you by the theckond amendment, we cannot run this place competently with a gun to our heads. That said, I'm kind of a dick.

You have my word that I will always do what is best for our great natheeon. That said, I'm kind of a dick and I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.