My sister, Maureen, told us over the weekend that her two little boys, Sam and Jake, were going through a real whiny stage and that it was driving her husband, Kenny, out of his mind. He had tried everything to make them stop their nasalizing, but they kept at it, like an ice pick in the ear. 

At his wit's end, Kenny stooped to old-fashioned male chauvinism by calling Sam, "Samantha," and Jake, "Jacqueline," when they came at him whimpering. It really rankled Jakie, the younger of the two, and one time, when things were calm, he approached his dad and said, "I really hate it when you call me Jacqueline." Kenny, psyched that he was making some progress said, "I figured you would. I was just trying to get you to stop whining." Jakie said, "Okay. Do you think you could call me Jessica instead?"