Everybody knows that I'm bad at naming things (Blogpost 2/14).  I won't even attempt to draft a title for the subject line of an email.  This is because, well, who doesn't change course once your fingers hit the keys?  You start off with, Subject:  Girls! Who stole my cool earrings--I know it was one of you!.  Then, after you write the email, you need to go back and completely change it to, Subject:  Check out these cool earrings from the Sundance Catalog, Birthday Girl!  

That said, who wouldn't want to take a crack at naming the new pope? That's right!  There is so much to look forward to! Once the Cardinals -- who are meeting right now! -- single out the next man to lead the Church, he gets to think up a new name that is more spiritually-oriented and easier-on-the-ears, like "Simplicius" (468-483 A.D.), for example. It's like experiencing all the excitement of picking out a new dog at the kennel, and then layering on the anticipation of seeing what it names itself! 

Right now, everyone is thinking that it would be cool if they elect a pope who is from below the Tropic of Cancer. Apparently it would be a first. And one of the leading guys from the south is Brazilian Cardinal Scherer, who is the son of German immigrants.  So, he may be "from" Sao Paolo, but he's pretty much wearing lederhosen under his vestments. Because of that, if I got to pick this new pope's name, I'd definitely go with Pope Burgermeister Meisterburger (Zere will be no more marriage for ze gays!)

If this idea is rejected, there are lots of women's names that have yet to be used.  I'm thinking "Constance" sounds kind of pope-y.