One day, I went down into the basement to iron my shirt before I went off to high school. When I started in on the collar, the iron sent a forceful electric shock through my hand. I yelled upstairs, "Mom! We need a new iron!" She yelled back, "Stand on the boot!" I looked down on the concrete floor and saw the green rubber boot that I had actually kicked out of the way moments earlier, not understanding it to be my mom's idea of an appliance protection plan.
As time went by, college friends came home with us for weekends, and if they happened to need an iron, we'd tell them about the boot. Warnings were earnestly delivered to our guests as though what was going on downstairs was perfectly normal. I vaguely remember telling someone, "You know, you don't have to wear two rubber boots when you iron. You can just stand there on the one and it works just as well."
Years later, after my dad hung up his jet pack and retired from the spy business, he announced to my mom that he was going to press his own shirts because he had the spare time. One day, he went downstairs, started in on the collar and, though not thrown clear of the iron by an acute muscle contraction, he did experience that searing sensation that leaves a man wondering if he still has hair in his nostrils.
Assuming that the defect in the iron was news, he ran up the steps and cried to my mom to be careful because the damn iron just gave him a real jolt.
"Didn't you stand on the boot?" she asked incredulously.
Within hours, the boot was retired and we had a brand new iron. After that, when I visited my folks, I missed the old system. It made us all feel like we were holding down household costs. Plus, it sparked up my first, however fleeting, interest in science.
Assuming that the defect in the iron was news, he ran up the steps and cried to my mom to be careful because the damn iron just gave him a real jolt.
"Didn't you stand on the boot?" she asked incredulously.
Within hours, the boot was retired and we had a brand new iron. After that, when I visited my folks, I missed the old system. It made us all feel like we were holding down household costs. Plus, it sparked up my first, however fleeting, interest in science.
Sparked up.
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there.
In a way, Con, it's a shame that your dad put a stop to The Great Game. This could have become one of those hallowed family traditions that, generations later, no one knows the origin of (yes! I end sentences with prepositions! So there!). Your grandchildren could be like the kids who ask their mother why she cuts the end off the ham before putting it in the oven.
ReplyDeleteThe hair in the nostrils isn't much of a problem. But if that iron could do something about the ears I might be interested in borrowing it.
ReplyDelete