Friday, August 1, 2014

"We probably ought to eat that chicken." This is something we say a lot at home and it's not a big deal. We buy some chicken, refrigerate it, then ignore it for a couple of days because a bird in the hand is something no one wants to eat presently.

But if you hear someone say, "we probably ought to eat that chicken," when you've been invited to stay for dinner at your friends' house, you're allowed to torment yourself with disturbing thoughts. Unless you can sidle over to their econo-thigh-pak to eyeball that expiration date, you're at risk. There's no way for you to know what their standards are. In fact, who even are these assholes?

If you find yourself in this state of affairs, get out of there. Otherwise, it's on you if, as you're doubled over retching, you realize that you are what you ought to eat.

1 comment:

  1. The problem with refusing chicken is, unlike pork or shellfish, you cannot claim religious prohibition (works every time for me). And you can hardly claim to be a vegetarian with that burger stain on your shirt. Try this: on advice of counsel I refuse to eat the chicken. You will thank me later.

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