This morning, while Greta and I were making breakfast and repairing some stuff in her apartment, it fell upon us to do several Google searches to answer the following questions:

•  Does it slowly poison you if you fry your eggs in a scratched Teflon pan? (No.)

•  Is it okay to use dish soap when cleaning cast iron cookware? (Yes, if you must.)

•  Can you re-energize a uncooperative suction cup? (Possibly.)

•  Who thought up hair shirts, long, long ago? (Credit goes to a team of shepherds and tailors. It was during the Ancient Commonwealth Games, in the final round of the Mortification of the Flesh event. Team Shepherd/Tailor took the gold, narrowly defeating Team Priest/Cobbler, who turned up in excruciating high heels.)

•  Who generally made the hair shirts back then? (Your mom could make a hair shirt for you if your family had goats lying around, but only if you were naughty and listed Self Flagellation Kit at the top of your Christmas list. If you were nice, you unwrapped a cashmere or pashmina shirt, the hair for which was taken from the soft undercoat of the goat. However, in Spain, moms had to make knock-off hair shirts from scraps of scratchy burlap because the family goat was due to be thrown off of the town church during a festival held every fourth Sunday of January.)

•  Do people wear hair shirts to this day? (A few men still do, usually tank tops.)

Reference hair shirt-tank top.