Dear Margot and Greta:

Because you seem eager for me to weigh in on your personal relationships, I'll caution you not to marry a brooding man. Brooders can be very attractive because they're intense and interesting, and they look like they need your love or at least some kind of assistance. A short term relationship with a brooder is fine -- it may even be a good idea, getting-it-out-of-your-system wise. For the long haul though, they might become tiresome, fun-sucking wise.

You might ask how to spot a brooder. A brooder is any guy who would not appreciate it if you rode your unicycle into a swimming pool at a summer party. In fact, he is apt to peel you away from the festivities entirely, preferring to go one-on-one, often when things are just starting to heat up. A brooder would not go with you to visit your sister in the hospital when you are wearing an opened-back johnny that reveals your novelty rubber butt boxers.  A brooder is likely to be seriously engaged in a particular activity that involves special equipment. This equipment might require roof racks for his car or maybe a guitar case. He won't like to joke about this pursuit and he'll not want it to be called a hobby. You get the picture.

How to avoid brooders, especially if you are just coming off of one? Well, they don't like to dance freely, wear costumes or be caught unawares/observe sudden movements, so for a short time, stick with hoedowns, Walt Disney World and surprise parties. Also don't make eye contact with solo kite surfers or guys at used record stores and you should be fine.

Always here for you,

Connie