After weeks of doing serious research and writing boring blog posts, I'm ready to announce what will become the newest thing in glass wear and it's bowls. You laugh now, but pretty soon (well, not that soon, as we innovators typically operate years ahead of the hoi polloi) wherever you go to socialize (as long as you're hanging out with the right people), drinks will be served in bowls, probably ones called calabash bowls, which look like this: 

Why bowls? Well, everyone knows that people, especially men, love to cup things. When we begin to drink two-handedly from bowls, especially the calabash, which is a hollowed out and dried gourd, we will look and feel like we're living a natural lifestyle, which will be super in for the foreseeable future. Drinking thusly, we will appear to revere the earth and whatnot, as we lower our heads and bow to the bounty held within our basins. This is way cooler than what we do now, which is to throw our heads back unreflectively to quaff from mason jars like masters of the universe. Drinking from bowls requires concentration, and this focus will bring us to the present moment, which is where the people who are going to drink from bowls are always trying to be, so that's a win-win. 

There is an appealing communal aspect to drinking from calabash bowls, as societies from Asia, Europe and the Americas have been serving traditional drinks from large vats into calabash-style bowls during events like weddings, concerts and graduation parties for thousands of years. What I'm getting at here is that someone who is planning a large party should consider calabash bowls if he or she is thinking of going with a signature cocktail for the evening.

Since calabash bowls do not conduct heat, they are also perfect for hot drinks, like tea. Tea is no stranger to being drunk from bowls, as handled cups did not exist until around 1750 when an Englishman named Robert Adams invented handles because too many soft, pasty British palms of hands were being badly burned. Today only a few of us tough it out with handleless tea cups for reasons that are purely aesthetic. Soon though, when calabash bowls really catch on, they will be sold in ceramic form on Etsy, and after that at Pottery Barn, then at Home Goods, and then at Everything's a Dollar. At that point, hands will be scalded left and right, just like in olden times. The innovator in me says to apply for the Cardboard Coffee Bowl Sleeve™ patent at my earliest convenience.